Things That Can Fuck Off: Tomato, Feta and Bacon Ice Cream

fuck no thats gross!

Tomato, feta and bacon (all one flavor) ice cream has been trending for about a year after becoming somewhat popular in California. California is well known for birthing some fucked up shit.

I tried a sample of it today.

If the Original Sin that took place in the Garden of Eden had a taste, that would be it.

That shit tasted like an affront to God.

When I inevitably go to hell when I die, that fucking flavor of ice cream will be the first demon I meet past the entrance.

This flavor of ice cream proves that Jesus’s sacrifice was in vain.

This ice cream could allow robots to feel human emotions, but only disappointment and sadness. So they’d basically be your dad. Or me. After all, I am your dad. Come back home, son. I miss you.

If I had a rope long enough and a pulley strong enough, I would hang the state of California for high treason. Not the people of California, rather the ground itself.

Even if the graves of Hollywood spat out the reanimated corpse of Charles Bronson so he could continue making Death Wish movies forever, I would not forgive California for birthing this abomination.

I hope you detach from the US and float away into the Pacific Ocean, California.

You can fuck off.

23 years old. Connoisseur of mobile games. Lives entirely off of heavily seasoned rice and coffee.

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